An absolute hammering as a feeble City performance and a rampant Tottenham side combined to deliver a 5-1 thumping in City's first home game of the season.

Report by Mike Scott.

Phil Brown likes to do the unexpected. And starting tonight with Daniel Cousin up front was certainly just that. Having sulked his way through pre-season and seen at least two players signed as his replacement (the third, a Spanish fellow called Negredo, turned us down this afternoon) it was unexpected to see Cousin in the starting eleven tonight alongside Caleb Folan (who again did OK with the scraps that he was fed). Perhaps no-one found this course of events more surprising than Cousin himself, who ambled around for 20 minutes and occasionally let the ball clang off various limbs and ricochet wildly to a passing Spur. He was substituted on 21 minutes shortly after striking a shot on the turn at least a mile over the crossbar, and was replaced by Geovanni - that's Geovanni, Hull City's best player. Who was on the bench. Again.

By this time Tottenham had sailed into a two goal lead and at the helm was Captain Michael Turner, who offered up a performance of such remarkable craptitude that one wondered whether he was on strike in solidarity with fellow mid-range Premier League centre back Joleon Lescott. On 10 Tottenham scythed through our defences as the mobile and intelligent Robbie Keane found space down the right channel and allowed Huddlestone to pass the ball left into Jermaine Defoe's path. Turner was with Defoe and stood off him, no doubt awaiting a extravagant piece of trickery. Defoe spotted that Turner was not going to mark him properly in a desperate one-on-one situation 12 yards from goals, and gleefully lamped it with his left foot low into the goal. A few minutes on and the mobile and intelligent Robbie Keane orchestrated another attack that Wilson Palacios, a workaholic central midfield wasp of a player, thumped home.

Geovanni (Hull City's best player, let's not forget) won a free kick on the right and Stephen Hunt measured his run up carefully then fizzed a cross to the back post that everyone missed and plopped into the inside side netting of Cuducini's goal. At 2-1 it was a more even contest, City's attacking instincts meaning that the mobile and intelligent Robbie Keane (let's call him MAIRK) was starved of possession. But just before half time Defoe received a pass from MAIRK, sprinted away from Turner as though fleeing from a tailor's dummy and lashed home a third. After 20 minutes of City endeavour, which featured a Folan goal chalked off for falling over in the build up, the reward was almost certain defeat. Good side, Tottenham. Good at punishing mistakes. Messrs Brown's and Turner's, mainly.

City again did OK in the second half and had a decent shout for a penalty when a cleared corner was returned to the box and Folan was felled. Remarkably, referee Foy was stationed a full 40 yards away near the half way line, and was in no position to give a definitive view on what had happened, so he turned his back. Pretty soon he was booking another Hull City player, which on tonight's evidence is something of a hobby for him.

From a City corner Bassong humped the ball clear and all of a sudden it was 4 on 4. One of those four was the wand'ring star Mendy, by now deputed to right back after a spectacularly anonymous 45 minutes on the right side of midfield. One was willing runner Ghilas, on as a substitute for the tiring Boateng. Another was Michael Turner, who allowed midget Irishman Robbie Keane to outleap him and head home a Lennon cross from the right. In stoppage time more static defending down our right allowed Defoe time to hit a fulminating shot that flashed past Myhill before he had time to scream "where are the flipping tackles?" - the England striker's hattrick was complete.

Phil Brown made a complete balls of this tonight. He should never have started Cousin (although at least he admitted this to himself after 20 minutes rather than toughing it out) and to discard Geovanni to the bench was madness. Keane (mobile and intelligent) had free rein to wander around between our midfield and defence, and at no time was it apparent that we had a plan, or even a notion, of how to mark him and quell his considerable threat. Even in the second half, after Brown had the team's undivided attention in the dressing room for 15 minutes, we had no game plan for Keane. He murdered us.

It's a one off, of course. But make no mistake this was a confidence sapping performance - indeed a large puddle of confidence that had drained out of Michael Turner as Defoe once again dummied and sprinted past him, threatened to submerge the rows of seats closest to the KC pitch. Anthony Gardner was absolutely superb against his former club. Folan gave it a go but gave the impression that for all his willingness, he's not quite good enough for this level. Olofinjana looked like a Nigerian rabbit trapped in the headlamps of a Shell pantechnicon. Dawson was effective. Mendy wasn't. Hunt was scurryingly good and delivered a few tasty crosses that no-one read or expected. We have some decent players but already our game plan is all over the place. We've won 2 out of 31 in the League. Sort it out Phil. Sort it out. And be quick about it.

HULL CITY (4-4-2): Myhill; Mouyokolo, Turner, Gardner, Dawson; Mendy, Olofinjana, Boateng, Hunt; Cousin, Folan.  Subs: Geovanni (for Cousin, 22), Barmby (for Mouyokolo, 46), Ghilas (for Boateng, 69), Zayatte, Halmosi, Kilbane, Duke.

Goals: Hunt 25

Booked: Folan, Hunt, Turner

Sent Off: None

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR: Gomes, Hutton, Corluka, Bassong, Assou-Ekotto, Lennon, Palacios, Huddlestone, Modric, Keane, Defoe.  Subs: Cudicini (for Gomes, 16), Crouch (for Keane, 81), Bentley (for Modric, 85), Pavlyuchenko, Naughton, Chimbonda, O'Hara.

Goals: Defoe 10, 45, 90; Palacios 14; Keane 78

Booked: Hutton, Keane

Sent Off: None

REFEREE:    C Foy

ATTENDANCE: 24,735