A big relegation six pointer, and for the second time in a row the Tigers come out comfortably on top as Dean Windass swots aside Southend with a splendid hat-trick.

Had the Battle of Thermopylae been fought at the KC Stadium rather than in Greece, it is likely that King Deanidas, leader of the 300 Spartans who despite being hopelessly outnumbered fought heroically to their deaths against the mightier forces of the Persian army, would also have been substituted on 86 minutes and taken a standing ovation from a crowd hugely appreciative of his masterful exploits. Deanidas would have sheathed his bloodied sword, surveyed the slaughtered Shrimpsters strewn across the KC turf, and marched off with his head held high, confident in the knowledge of a job well done.

It is there that this analogy falls down, as history tells us that King Deanidas remained on the pitch until the final whistle, and was slain along with the remaining Greeks and Spartans. This was, of course, several hundred years before the concept of substitutes was introduced, and the Persians were slightly better armed than the current Southend squad. But the point is this: what we witnessed yesterday was an awesome display of goalscoring, and a heroic effort that might very well keep us up.

In front of 19,629 and on a sunny but very blustery day, we lined up for battle thus:

Myhill
Ricketts Turner Delaney Dawson
Parlour Ashbee Peltier
Forster King Deanidas Elliott

The first half was abysmal, with both teams struggling to play any decent football, hampered no doubt by the knowledge of how important an occasion this was, and by the difficult playing conditions, with the pitch looking unhelpfully rugbified and the wind affecting anything played any higher than that. A largely formless 45 ensued.

Deanidas hit the back of the net on 7, after Elliott had won a header and Forster had played him in, but the whistle had long since gone for offside. A nice sighter though. Most of what action there was took place in front of the East Stand, down our right. Parlour and Ricketts combined well on several occasions, with our Romford-born maestro taking every opportunity to flick it out wide right for Ricketts to run onto. This was working pretty well, with the hapless Foran on their left offering no support to his defence, allowing Ricketts to attack their full back Hunt. What we managed to create in the first half was generally through this combination.

In the first half we played poorly, but not as poorly as Southend. Whereas we were largely ineffective, Southend were largely hopeless. They offered nothing going forward, with Myhill not involved in the first half. Million-plus-rated striker Eastwood offered nothing that either Turner or Delaney could not cope with comfortably; Maher and Gower were outplayed by our midfield three, with Ashbee getting stuck in and young debutant Peltier settling into the Livermore role nicely after a slow start. We attacked with a fair amount of vigour in comparison, whilst creating very little that the annoyingly solid Sodje couldn’t snuff out with ease.

The officials were fussy; Mr Mason and his sidekicks enforcing the new FIFA directive ordering the immediate punishment of minor infringements, whilst letting clear fouls go unpunished, only to call play back after playing on for what seemed on occasions to be several minutes. It wasn’t pretty.

On 23, Parlour and Ricketts combined down the right, with Ricketts whipping in a cross that was cleared. Parlour knocked it back in to an unmarked Forster … who promptly ducked out of the free header 8 yards out, perhaps fearing a flappering from Flaphavin in the Southend goal (who had stayed on his line). It was a very good chance, and we cursed a lack of communication or perhaps commitment. On 27 good work by Deanidas and Forster on the right resulted in a cross from Forster that was deflected goalwards by Clarke but smartly tipped onto the bar by Flaphavin and out for a corner.

Elliott won a free kick by the left touchline on 36, and Parlour’s free kick found Delaney at the back post, only for his goal-bound header to be cleared off the line. Dawson took control of the loose ball and swung it back in, and Delaney’s next effort took it over Flaphavin but onto the roof of the net. A minute later, Parlour was hauled down just outside the box, and Dawson’s well taken free kick would have nestled in the top right hand corner, but for the alertness and agility of Flaphavin.

Four minutes before half time, more tireless work from Forster (that we all like to see) on the right, and another ball into the box. Deanidas went down and looked to hug the ball ready to pick it up and place it on the spot. The referee thought otherwise, allowing play to continue. The ball was released and broke free to Peltier, who also went down. With most of the Hull team on the floor in the opposition penalty area, referee Mason decided this merited a penalty. Perhaps it did. We didn’t care about that.

After the obligatory booking for one of theirs for arguing about the decision, the King stepped up and walloped the penalty against the diving Flaphavin. With the required amount of good fortune needed at this time of the season, the Flapster’s parry returned the ball straight to Deanidas, who had time to thump the ball into the ground and over the prostrate Flapster. 1-0 and a roar of appreciation from the crowd.

At half time I ruminated with eminent acquaintances that this could be the shortest match report in Tiger Chat history. We’d played some fairly turgid football but gone in 1-0 up thanks to a fortunate penalty decision (it’s only later that I’ve managed to extend that summary a bit). I spent the half time interval contemplating writing 1,500 words on the subject of boring games I’ve witnessed (0-0 at Carlisle in the last game of our play-off season, after a five and a half hour train journey from London, perhaps being the pick of these), in order to flesh things out a bit, and drawing analogies with the amount of swirling rubbish on the pitch.

Football. It’s a game of two halves, isn’t it?

Second 45. Immediately more action, and both sides playing with more urgency. We still looked the better side, although Campbell-Ryce was seeing more of the ball on the Southend right, and causing Dawson some problems. However, each time Southend attacked, we defended in numbers, with Elliott chasing back to help out and Ashbee and Peltier moving back to give further cover. The chances, when they came, were falling to City. On 55 Peltier won it in the middle and played in Elliott on the left. His shot was beaten away as far as Forster, whose shot was also blocked. Out it went to Ash, who played it to Peltier, but his shot was high and wide.

Elliott nicked it off Sodje on 63 and took it forward, before squaring it to Forster, who controlled it and hit a powerful shot that struck the underside of the crossbar, bounced on the line and was cleared. At the other end, Delaney blocked a Bradbury shot, before Campbell-Ryce knocked in a cross that Myhill had to deal with. It was all pretty lively, and we were on top, but it wasn’t comfortable and in the stands we were desperate for a second City goal to calm the nerves.

On 72 Deanidas took a free kick on the right and shot just wide of the right hand post from about 25 yards out. A minute later, he chased down a nothing ball that looked to be going out, and having reached it with one of theirs, contrived to win a free kick over by the corner flag on the right. Dawson whipped it in and Flaphavin, after having had a pretty decent game up until then, flapped comically at it, dropped it into his six yard box, and Deanidas reacted quickest, sweeping it into the roof of the next from a couple of yards out. 2-0, mayhem in the stands. And a huge sigh of relief.

Southend fell apart, as the rampant Tiger army attacked with vigour. Forster and Elliott were swapping wings, Peltier was feeding Dawson on the left, Parlour feeding Ricketts on the right, as we displayed the kind of flowing football that this 4-3-3 can sometimes deliver under the guidance of Phil Brown. Oh, for some consistency.

On 79 Southend were slow to clear and the ball was fed out left to Dawson, who took it forward and delivered the perfect cross to an unmarked Deanidas on the right hand side of the box. Deanidas unsheathed his trusty weapon, steadied himself, and drove the ball past Flaphavin and into the bottom corner for his hat-trick. Technically brilliant in execution, and we lead 3-0. Awesome swordsmanship from a striker who has made a huge difference since his return. Perhaps the difference that will keep us in this division.

It wasn’t quite over. On 82 Ash won it and played it to Deanidas, who sliced the Southend defence apart with a sublime ball in to Ricketts. Ricketts showed the assurance of a 20 goal-a-season striker as he calmly slotted it past the despairing Flaphavin and just inside the far post. 4-0 and now Total Tiger Mayhem.

Marney came on for Peltier on 83, before Vaz Te replaced the colossal King Deanidas on 86 (was that Flaphavin’s ear he spat out as he left the pitch?). Both received the appreciation they deserved. Southend briefly stirred, and on 87 had their first shot on target, with Myhill saving low to his left from Bradbury. There was still time for Parlour to receive an ovation as he was replaced by Coles on 89, who shot over with probably his only touch of the game after good work from Marney and Vaz Te during the three minutes of time added on. At the final whistle, onto the pitch marched King Deanidas to claim the match ball from the referee and take another ovation from the crowd.

On the train up from London in the morning a group of Southend fans were lamenting their lack of ability to bring in quality players in the new year that might have helped keep them up. “Windass is difficult to play against. He’s bound to score,” one of them reckoned. When you look at it, what Brown and Pearson have done may well save us from relegation. Windass and Parlour stand out as great signings, and yesterday Peltier made an impressive debut, filling in for the injured Livermore and Welsh. At this stage of the season you can’t afford not to have cover in key positions. Vaz Te also looks good, and if it wasn’t for the Spartan efforts of our front three he would surely be playing.

44 points, 18th in the table, six games to go. Whilst a lot has been made of the fact that none of the teams in the bottom three have given up the fight yet, it is also worth remembering that at least four of the teams below us are now going to have to overtake us before the end of the season. That’s a lot of teams having to notch up a lot of points at a time when the top 9 in the division still have a lot to play for. We’re not out of it, but we’re now in our best league position of the season and heading in the right direction.

HULL CITY (4-3-3): Myhill; Ricketts, Turner, Delaney, Dawson; Parlour, Ashbee, Peltier; Forster, Windass, Elliott.  Subs: Marney (for Peltier, 83), Vaz Te (for Windass, 86), Coles (for Parlour, 88), Bridges, Duke.

Goals: Windass 43, 73, 79; Ricketts 81

Booked: None

Sent Off: None

SOUTHEND UNITED: Flahavan, Francis, Clarke, Sodje, Hunt, Campbell-Ryce, Gower, Maher, Foran, Eastwood, Bradbury.  Subs: Harrold (for Campbell-Ryce, 71), Collis, Prior, Hammell, Moussa.

Goals: None

Booked: Foran, Hunt, Sodje

Sent Off: None

REFEREE:  L Mason

ATTENDANCE: 19,629