A totally bizarre match featuring dreadful refereeing, two goalkeeper injuries and Theo Whitmore in the nets end sup in grand fashion as City thump promotion rivals Tranmere 6-1 in front of another 20k plus crowd.

As match reporter, there are a few phrases that you sometimes overuse; perhaps it's habit, more likely it's to do with what you've watched. In our dark days, every Steve Weatherill report seemed to conclude gloomily, 'much more of this and between them Dolan and Fish will kill this club.' Steve also coined and kindly bequeathed to his deputies the immensely useful 'largely formless' which has often accurately described over the years the action on the pitch, the state of the reporter's mind after lunching slightly too enthusiastically, or the very real gap caused by getting to the ground 15 minutes or so after kickoff. Some things, by contrast, you don't get to write; 'X produced another solid and committed performance, reminding us, as he has all season, of the value of playing at right back a player who can actually defend' is an example of a phrase we've never needed. But some things are so absolutely unbelievable that you cannot imagine that your fingers would ever skip into that particular pattern. But here goes: for the second half on Saturday, Theodore Whitmore was Tranmere Rovers' custodian of the leather.

That was perhaps the most remarkable element of a game that featured other standouts; as haphazard a refereeing performance as you'll see, a 20,000 crowd, a 6-1 drubbing of our closest rivals for the second promotion spot, and an astonishing effort from Stuart Elliott, featuring 3 goals and two assists for the five goals scored whilst he was on the pitch, plus winning the penalty that he then converted twice and the not insignificant fact of launching the challenge that saw off their second keeper (I've never seen two keepers go off injured for one side in one game, leaving that side casting round for a third; I've never even heard of it before).

Setting up this remarkable pre-Christmas treat were;

Myhill
Joseph Cort Delaney Edge
France Green Ashbee Elliott
Barmby Facey

We set about them towards the North Stand housing possibly 1500 visitors and Elliott immediately had a shot well-saved by Achterberg. Green followed up and found Barmby whose first time flick went over the bar. Thus was the early tone set as we marauded forward, Elliott frequently a third frontman, Green string-pulling for all he was worth from his favoured middle berth. We got an early example of referee Mason's lack of competence when Green set France away, only for France to be deliberately impeded. An obvious carding offence, it elicited only a finger- wagging. Weak.

Not for the first time this season, early pressure and early vocal backing faded a bit when a goal wasn't forthcoming and the Trannies started to get going. And they can play. Beresford had a couple of typical runs outpacing Joseph before, thankfully, producing a couple of typically inaccurate crosses at the end of them. From the other flank a floated cross found big oaf Gary Jones who looped a free header of considerable rubbishness straight at Boaz. But we are always a threat these days and soon Facey was charging in from the left, scattering defenders in his wake, only to be stopped by Achterberg with Goodison in close attendance. It looked innocuous, but it ended Achterberg's afternoon, as he was helped off. Strike one. Howarth came on to replace him and was soon treated to a sweet combination of Barmby setting up Green whose appreciation of Elliott's postioning and pace was masterful. Elliott hared after the sweetly struck sphere and looked likely to get in a shot only to be halted by Goodison's challenge. It was risky as Elliott went over, but when you see the league's leading scorer bearing down on your reserve keeper it's probably the right option to go for the ball. And I think he got it, too, and so did the ref, in a rare outburst of competence. Elliott's bunny-hop dive was perhaps the clincher, no penno.

But the Transters were still having the best of it, first to the ball and good on it when they got there, and a slick move down our left and a pull back meant that Myhill had to make an excellent point-blank stop. But as so often, our myriad attacking options were about to bale us out of a tightish spot. Joseph crossed diagonally from the right. Fieldhouse reported that he 'fired in a cross.' He didn't. He lumped it, as central defenders do, without pace, whip or bend, upward and forward and eventually downward. Happily, Elliott was there on the far side of their area, out-jumping the defence with an excellent leap. The ball broke for Ashbee who lashed it in with his left foot from 20 yards. 1-0, hardly deserved, but what did we care?

It could have been more minutes later as France intercepted and put in Elliott with a good ball just beyond our man's reach. Elliott went for it as he had to do but ended up getting the keeper. At this point, I'm afraid things got rather ugly: the Tranmere physio put a really appalling head bandage on Howarth, sticking up above his hair like a paper hat out of a cheap cracker, it was really dreadful and unnecessary as the keeper was clearly concussed rather than cut, and to this former neurosurgical nurse, who, though he says it himself, used to apply a pretty impressive headbandage, that adhesive abortion left a bad impression. Bad enough for Howarth to get kicked in the head without being made to look a tit as well. Shoddy. I must say though, that I was a bit concerned that scousers should be as physically fragile as all that. I discussed this with La Nuvola Nera who put it down to a lack of fibre in that part of the world since the docks had closed down, so reluctantly I suppose we must again blame Mrs Thatcher.

Meanwhile the players were all pushing one another and the referee had, cravenly, booked Elliott; it's hard to believe he would even have given a free kick had we not already seen off one keeper. But Howarth was wandering about dazed and couldn't be trusted with the restart. Strike two. This also signalled the real end of any refereeing control for the afternoon. Mason gave a number of arbitrary decisions up to half time, the worst being when the gargantuan Lurch-alike Jones attempted to start a fight with Green, precipitating more playground-style shoving and ending with Jones booked, rightly, and Green booked, perplexingly. Half-time saw us 1-0 up, and the Circle crowd informing the referee what an idiot he was.

The second half started with the unsurprising news that Howarth would take no further part, and the utterly startling news that the lissome Tappa was to be his replacement. This was clearly one of THOSE Little decisions, that are always bizarre, sometimes brilliant (such as when he realised that our misfiring and inadequate team could be transferred into a play-off outfit by simply adding Kevin Francis) but sometimes barmy (such as playing in our midfield Whitmore, Williams and Beresford and then ordering them not to cross the half-way line against a crap York side who couldn't believe their luck and tore us up at Bootham Crescent in one of the more embarrassing nights to be an away fan and one that played a major role in Little getting the bum's rush). This proved to be one of the barmy ones. This was strike three and the scousers were about to strike out swinging.

Not that it was really the fault of Tappa's custodianship; the real failure was, surprise, surprise, tactical. Instead of 'doughnutting' Tappa, sticking defenders close to their stand in keeper to afford him extra vital protection, the visitors chose to use the Little playbook for THAT Mansfield game where we abandoned defending altogether when 3-0 down trusting to Matt Glennon to repel boarders and lost eventually 4-2 when the Mansters should have had a dozen. Tranmere chose to bomb forwards. And we chose to cut them to bits. Elliott had a run and shot which Whitmore blocked with an elegant left foot. He then had to speed out to clear his lines as his defence ran away from him again. It couldn't last and it didn't, as France crossed from the right, Facey flicked on, and the inevitable Elliott was there to head home, 2-0.

Would the scousers sit back, re-organise, weather the storm, think about the goal-difference, even defend a bit? Of course not! They withdrew the sulking lumpen Jones for the silky Eugene Dadi who can obviously play and immediately put them back in it, out turning Joseph the way footballers tend to, before finishing well, low past Myhill. 2-1, but barely had we had the chance to say 'bugger' when it was 3-1, Elliott deciding to create this time as he escaped the defence, found Facey who ran and crossed for Barmby to turn in with Tappa rooted to his line.

Tranmere roared back at us, Delaney lost Hume who was free on goal but dragged his shot wide, and Dadi proved he was no idiot by focussing on Joseph on our right to launch further attacks. But they still weren't bothering to defend, and we had a man who likes that sort of situation, as a salivating Allsopp replaced Facey. SuperDan was involved straight away, putting through Elliott who changed down and howled past Goodison on the outside before blasting past Tappa who didn't look like he was enjoying it anymore, 4-1.

We then started to essay a lovely ' these passes you have loved' move whereupon to the appropriate olaying of the crowd Green and Barmby unlocked what remained of their defence for Elliott to run into the box, wait for the challenge and claim the penalty. And claim it he did, even though Green clearly rather fancied it as well. But there is a pleasing, cold-eyed ruthlessness to the relentless God-botherer these days and he snatched the ball and buried it past Tappa. Then he did it again as the referee had spotted who knows what wrong the first time. 5-1 and Whitmore, to his immense credit, didn't waste energy diving on either occasion. Elliott barely had time to cartwheel before he was on his way, withdrawn for Keane. Short of taking over the carol singing from the Rev. Bagshawe it;s hard to see how he could have had much more influence on the day.

The manager then showed a hitherto unseen compassionate streak as he withdrew Barmby for Wilbrahim, presumably to spare the visitors further punishment, and it more or less worked as our attacks inevitably lost some point. But we still weren't quite done, Green floated in a corner, Delaney flicked it on and Allsopp impressively stuck the bouncing ball past Whitmore for 6-1.

It's hard to see how it could have gone much better. It's just about impossible to see how Tranmere's afternoon could have been any worse. But it's us I want to concentrate on. Up to a couple of weeks ago I thought we were a decent side who could make the playsoff. Then I saw us trundle over the top of Macc, one of the best teams in division 4, and I realised for the first time this season how far we have moved on from the last campaign. Then I saw us blow away a Sheff Wednesday team who were obviously up for teaching us what a big team in a big stadium really looks like and we kicked their arse for them. Then I saw us go to as crap a ground as there is in the league and guts out a win against yet another well-organised, close-passing team. Then I saw this. Four wins, four different ways of impressing the opposition with what we can do, 16 goals scored in the process, goal threats from everywhere. If Balckpool (as for some reason they spell their name - you check out their sticks of rock) aren't cacking their pants then they really aren't up with the programme. Now I think we're good enough to get promotion automatically, as we're starting to swagger and bully good teams. But whatever happens, these are marvellous days. We've all suffered a lot watching this team for so long, but what we have now is special, and should be enjoyed to the full.

HULL CITY (4-4-2): Myhill; Joseph, Cort, Delaney, Edge; France, Ashbee, Green, Elliott; Barmby, Facey.  Subs: Allsopp (for Facey, 64), Keane (for Elliott, 75), Wilbraham (for Barmby, 78), Duke, Lewis.

Goals: Ashbee 34; Elliott 54, 68, 75 (pen); Barmby 56; Allsopp 88

Booked: Elliott, Green

Sent Off: None

TRANEMERE ROVERS: Achterberg, Goodison, Jackson, Sharps, Roberts, Hall, Rankine, Harrison, Beresford, Hume, Jones.  Subs: Howarth (for Achterberg, 20), Whitmore (for Howarth, 45), Dadi (for Jones, 52), Linwood, Jennings.

Goals: Dadi 55

Booked: Jones

Sent Off: None

REFEREE: L Mason

ATTENDANCE: 20,064